Introductions

Thank you all for the kind words. It gladdens me that the JAO is still functional in it's mission. I have been away from the Jedi Path for quite some time. A self-imposed 'exile' perhaps. For now, I have something I'd like to touch on.

In my younger years, the Jedi and the Force mystified me in ways I could not comprehend. I saw wisdom and knowledge as a means to an end, to be a Jedi, and sought to read and explore anything I could find regarding the Jedi. In those days, nearly 15 years ago, there wasn't much Jedi-related content on the Internet. To the up and coming Jedi Apprentice (this was long before the term 'Padawan' came into use), books were more valuable. As a result, I had (past tense, sadly) a varied library of books I used to position myself on the Jedi Path. Books on various forms of Martial Arts and their respective philosophical outlook. Also, books surrounding Spiritual advancement and 'awakenings' of psychic energy and the like. These books I read and reread and attempted to apply the teachings within to my life. Doing so alone was difficult. I had never been extremely disciplined, nor am I now, but to this ideal I was dedicated. That kept me centred on the path for 4 years. However, having not worked effectively on discipline, I slowed in my practice over time. Life's demands grew real as I aged and I nearly forfeit my pursuit. In all but my thoughts, the Jedi were gone.

Older now, with a little more life under my belt, I look back and see things I hadn't before. 20/20 and all that. But there is so much more to it. I had many things right, doing what I could in a time where I could do no more than what I did. But some things were... overlooked... as I didn't have the capacity to understand them. Paths were travelled, decisions were made and action was taken (or not).

Nearly 15 years ago I began a journey of self discovery. A journey of epic consequence, as I attempted to define, shape and share the universe we know. However, I reached a plateau in my training and progress. I neglected many teachings and allowed doubt to fester. Doing so inevitably led to self-exile. The abandonment of hope, of truth; and of the Code. For 10 years, I have carried my doubt, my shame and my inadequacies.

Moreover, for 10 years, I have contemplated existence and direction. Experience has laid upon the existing foundation of who I am and brought forth Josh Steffen 'reborn'.

I feel that my time away is at an end. I would ask to rejoin the ranks of the Jedi. To begin again... at the beginning.